TIME TO RECOLLECT & REFLECT

It has never occurred to me that I will one day sit at the front of my PC to blog as I always thought blogging was a waste of time.

Somehow lately, I just had the strong urge to pen down lots of my feelings. The urge grew even stronger these couple of weeks ....... and I don't know why. Perhaps it was just because either I was hurt or either I was touched in many ways by my beloved students.

For the past 11 years of my working life, I've never invested so much of my energy and give of myself in any job. This is the first job that I noticed that I've really given lots of myself ..... moving out of my comfort zone to share and to love. It is a value which I think I will never reach if I were to continue working in the commercial world.

Well, I began to discover more of blogging when I had to do a portfolio reflection of myself ...... I guessed, I owed it all to my students whom I loved very much.

Perhaps, it is a good time now for me to reflect and recollect my teaching journey. I am coming close to the end of my 4th semester. In other words, my 2-year teaching contract is coming to an end by 6 March 2008. How time flies ....... The last semester and this semester has been most memorable for me and I would say is one that have kind of truly confirmed my vocation - my love for teaching, my love to share, my love to bear the hurts of my students, my love to feel hurt, my love to be disappointed and many more ......... It has really been a very confusing yet enriching 2 years for me.

I must admit that there were many moments I had wanted to leave and give up but somehow, deep within me, I just could not bear to part with my students as I would love to watch the first batch of my students graduate. I prayed real hard each day that I will have the strength to carry on and to see that day and make that day come true. I will never get to see the first batch of my students graduate unless I moved my teaching career beyond 6 March 2008. This feeling became even stronger when I had my second batch of students that were enrolled in April 2007
as I really had a bunch of marvellous kids whom I really loved very much; not forgetting my "first born" - my first mentee class that I thought when I joined the teaching vocation.

Since the day I started my teaching career in Ngee Ann, I've never failed to wake up every morning at 5:30 am to have my quiet time with God. It was after a few months that I began to realize that it was not me nor myself that was strong to face my students daily but it was the Lord and the Holy Spirit that gave me the strength to face each new day with gratitude, keeness to meet my students; to face the hurts, the disappointments and the joys.

My journey did not start out smoothly .......... I prayed each day for strength to be strong for the weak and to live out my vocation of being a good shepherd in school daily despite the many hurts and disappointments that constantly accumulates within me.

Each day, I had to remind myself of my purpose in school - the duty to share the love that I've received from my heavenly father.

I've finally come to understand that loving unconditionally was not an easy task but at this moment, I can safely say that I'm beginning to be able to handle this emotional state quite well.